wicked

i saw the musical 'wicked' today w/mom and tracy. it was excellent in all regards. this song stuck out to me 'i'm not that girl':

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_Hk0Cm3fIg

however, as i sat there i began to think (reference: main character ferrio/strawman)--

being the philosphical person i am-- i began to think, about which character i was more like, or what each witch (good/bad) represented. then i realized they are part of a whole, and that...

i was both.

this song also stuck out to me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mM1fQBZKwzM

a dream

two -- or was it three? -- nights ago i had a dream
and recalled in VIVID detail
someone i had not seen

in a very long time

when i woke
i was shocked to find
it wasn't real

and also shocked at how my memory
had stored away in such minute detail
so many, tiny things the mind
captures in a moment's glance
about someone --
the color of their eyes, their inflection and tone, their way of moving,
their character -- their flesh

how fascinating, but more disturbing;
unsettling to relive such intricate detail
of a wasted memory, long spent

Weight Watchers

I told my kite story and related to my work with Weight Watchers tonight. It was my first meeting back after 3 wks out due to sick leave/surgery, etc.

I got an ovation!

In my nearly 3 years of being a motivational speaker/Leader with Weight Watchers I've gotten only a handful of ovations at the end of one of my speeches. Tonight.........was one of them.

I was in terrible low-grade pain in my face still - since the bones have not reset. I mean, I was crying in my car before the meeting. But put my 'game face' on and walked it, and was 'happy Cari'. And something worked, bc it connected with them bc I just put it all out there, and by the end some of them were crying, and 4 grown women came up and hugged me.

I came home and took a Valium.

lol.