suddenly

they came to me. in the car. my mind, so odd.

i confuse so many things still -- made with maid and weight with wait ... and so many other words when writing still, and so many other things lost... just like they poured out the back of my mind...like sand through a sieve.

i still get lost driving to common everyday places, and lose my thought mid-sentence and in embarassment have to admit 'i forget where i was going with that', have an even worse memory than i ever had --- but suddenly, suddenly these lyrics came to me so clearly, so very clearly...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYIAfiVGluk

and how ironic yet, oh! that bitter sweet irony: they apply more now than ever.

wicked

i saw the musical 'wicked' today w/mom and tracy. it was excellent in all regards. this song stuck out to me 'i'm not that girl':

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_Hk0Cm3fIg

however, as i sat there i began to think (reference: main character ferrio/strawman)--

being the philosphical person i am-- i began to think, about which character i was more like, or what each witch (good/bad) represented. then i realized they are part of a whole, and that...

i was both.

this song also stuck out to me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mM1fQBZKwzM

a dream

two -- or was it three? -- nights ago i had a dream
and recalled in VIVID detail
someone i had not seen

in a very long time

when i woke
i was shocked to find
it wasn't real

and also shocked at how my memory
had stored away in such minute detail
so many, tiny things the mind
captures in a moment's glance
about someone --
the color of their eyes, their inflection and tone, their way of moving,
their character -- their flesh

how fascinating, but more disturbing;
unsettling to relive such intricate detail
of a wasted memory, long spent